Living Through War; Dreaming of Peace
Sister Luma Khudher, OP
Sometime in 2001, Sister Marie Therese Hanna, the Prioress General of my community, St. Catherine of Siena, asked me if I would consider leaving Iraq for a few years and go to the United States to learn English. I couldn’t imagine going to a country that has bombed us and with the possibility of another war on the brink. After much praying and discerning I said “yes” for the sake of my community.
It wasn’t easy for my family because of the history our country has with the U.S., but the words of St. Paul kept coming to my mind. “But how shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how can they believe unless they have heard of them? And how can they hear unless there is someone to preach? And how can they preach unless they are sent?” I felt God was calling me to come to the U.S. to help others learn more about the people of Iraq and my country. So, in April, 2002, I arrived in Springfield, Ill., with Sister Rihab Mousa, another member of my community, to live with the Springfield Dominican Sisters.
At first, it was not easy to talk about Iraq because at the local college there were many people who thought the Iraqi people were terrorists and an enemy to the U.S. I believe that the media portrays us that way at times and so people tend to judge all Iraqis as bad people. After a few weeks in the U.S., our English teacher told us not to say we are from Iraq, so that we wouldn’t cause any problems to ourselves.
As time went on, my English was getting better thanks to some of the sisters at the Dominican motherhouse who tutored me everyday. In the Fall of 2002, I started working at Marian Catholic High School in Chicago Heights, Ill., one of the Springfield Dominican Schools. I had taught high school in Iraq, so the sisters thought Marian would give me an opportunity to work with the high school students. Many of the teachers asked me to talk to their classes about my country. The students were very respectful. They asked a lot of questions and were willing to hear the truth from someone who lives in Iraq.
After a few months, there was more talk about a war with Iraq. Every day was very stressful waiting for it to actually happen. I was afraid that I would lose my faith in God. My whole life has been full o] war and I couldn’t imagine my country going through another one and my not being with my family or community.
Once the bombing started on March 19, 2003, there was no way to communicate with my community or my family. It was hard to look out the window at the clear blue sky knowing my family would only be seeing a sky filled with smoke. It was very hard living in the U.S. at this time. I wanted to be home with my family and with my community because I didn’t know if they were dead or alive.
It wasn’t until April 17, my birthday, that I received a call at midnight. It was my brother wishing me a happy birthday from my family, letting me know that they were all alive. It was the best birthday present ever.
I know I could have never lived through this war without the support of the sisters. Their prayers and love were holding me at a time I could not pray. I was asking God why all this was happening to the people in my country who are innocent. I believe that the Dominican family in Iraq survived because of the support and prayers of the Dominican Family and all the peacemakers around the world. With everything that is happening, I haven’t lost faith because I know God never gives us more burdens than we can bear and with every morning God sends us new graces.
My sister gave birth to a little girl last month and I pray that she grows up in a different way than I did. I pray that war is not a part of her life like it has been for me. I never stop dreaming of peace because it is the only thing that keeps me going every day.
Thanks to all of you who have prayed and will continue to pray for peace in Iraq.
This article first appeared in the Spring 2004 edition of Centerings, a publication of 8th Day Center, Chicago, Ill. Reprinted with permission.
